Three things I learnt this week
What do Thomas Sowell and Anis Nin have in common? Well, they taught me something so insanely valuable this week. I also added in one of my own insights.
Enjoy.
1 April — 5 April 2024
The more I use Medium, the more it becomes a journal that faces outwards. The more I grow and wanting to share little nuggets of knowledge I have learned through the week.
So, here I am starting these series that allow me to live my lessons twice.
Would you care to join?
The cheapest thing humans can do is complain. Because there is no need to be right.
Phil Luke.
Let's begin with a quote I wrote.
Complaining is a common human behavior. It is rooted in our innate desire to express dissatisfaction and seek validation. Those two things are so deeply rooted in human expression, we cannot escape it.
When we complain, we often are actually seeking sympathy, attention, or something more. Psychologically, complaining provides temporary relief by releasing pent-up emotions. But it can also create a false sense of control over our circumstances.
However, chronic complaining has detrimental effects on our mental well-being and relationships. It reinforces negative thought patterns, leading to a cycle of pessimism and helplessness. Complaining also fosters a victim mentality. It causes individuals to focus on problems rather than solutions. Moreover, constant complaining can strain relationships, as it drains the energy and patience of those around us.
When I went to therapy, this is the first thing they got me break out of. I really wrestled with it, as I was so cyclical with complaining that I had actually built an identity around it.
Understanding the psychological underpinnings of complaining allows us to break free from it. Often, complaining is often a learned behavior, influenced by our upbringing and societal norms. By acknowledging the temporary relief complaining provides and the long-term consequences it entails, we attempt to reframe our thoughts and communicate our concerns more constructively.
One of the most striking aspects of complaining is that it does not require accuracy or truth. When we complain, we often do so instead of looking to solve problems. We exaggerate our grievances, distort reality, or make sweeping generalizations. We will blame others, circumstances, or the world at large for our problems. All the while, without taking responsibility for our own actions or choices.
Complaining is cheap because you do not have to correct in your assessment. There is no incentive to be right because the pain one feels is relative to you. The rationale behind the act of complaining is simply looking for agreement and validation.
Complaining allows us to wallow in our own perceptions, regardless of their validity. It amplifies and reinforces our complaints, creating an echo chamber. Even if they are baseless or irrational. Hell, sometimes I would say that it even promotes it. This lack of accountability enables us to avoid confronting the real issues.
For instance, when we experience a setback or inconvenience, we might exaggerate the severity of the situation. We might make sweeping statements like “nothing ever goes right” or “this always happens to me.” These complaints, while emotionally charged, are often not factually true. Life is rarely black and white, and generalizations ignore the nuances and complexities of reality.
Complaining often involves blaming others or external circumstances for our problems. We might attribute our failures or difficulties to factors beyond our control. Things such as the economy, the weather, or the actions of others are the usual guilty parties. While these factors can indeed influence our lives, complaining about them without considering our own role or responsibility allows us to avoid introspection and accountability.
Moreover, complaining rarely leads to constructive solutions. While it may be the start, it is very rare that humans follow through on. It perpetuates a cycle of negativity and inaction, as we become more focused on the problem than on finding a resolution. Indulging in complaining without a genuine desire for truth wastes valuable time that could be better spent on productive endeavors.
We can also call out others, though I should suggest caution and empathy. Often people are complaining from a place that is deeply painful, but cyclical.
Maybe people just want to be heard, and that might be enough for them.
Intellect is not wisdom.
Thomas Sowell.
Intellect and wisdom are often mistakenly used interchangeably, but they are distinct concepts. Intellect refers to the ability to acquire and process data. It is the raw mental capacity that allows individuals to understand complex ideas, analyze information, and excel.
Wisdom is not quite the same. It goes beyond mere knowledge and intelligence. Wisdom is the ability to apply knowledge effectively. It is the sound judgments and the ability to navigate life’s challenges. Insight and understanding usually allow people to see this. Wisdom is the product of experience, self-reflection, and a deep understanding of human nature.
Intellectually brilliant individuals may lack wisdom if they cannot consider the broader context. They may be adept at solving technical problems but struggle with the complexities of human relationships. They may also struggle with personal growth, and ethical dilemmas. Often, we observe that the second-order effects are usually linked to the latter, where one should have applied wisdom.
Intellect, while valuable, has its limitations. It is a tool that enables us to process information and generate ideas. But it does not inherently lead to wise choices or actions.
Intellectually gifted individuals may fall into the trap of overconfidence. They believe that their mental prowess alone is sufficient to navigate all of life’s challenges. They may dismiss the importance of emotional intelligence, or cannot consider alternative perspectives.
Moreover, intellect can be biased and influenced by many factors. Yes, I know it shouldn’t be, but reality is often disappointing. These include personal beliefs, cultural norms, and societal pressures. Confirmation bias can sway even the most brilliant minds. They often seek information that reinforces their existing beliefs. Intellect alone does not guarantee objectivity or the ability to transcend one’s own limitations.
Often, the most important individual through history are a blend of intellect and wisdom. While they have the data to implement change, their selection of timing and delivery is rich is rich with nuance.
We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.
Anis Nin
As we immerse ourselves in the act of writing, we find ourselves fully present in the moment. Anis Nin knows that this revisit is often fantastic in how it moulds reflection. Writing allows us to re-savor each moment, capturing its essence and preserving it on paper.
Or in a digital journal.
But writing is not simply a means of documenting the present; it is also a gateway to revisiting and reflecting upon our experiences. By putting our thoughts and feelings into words, we re-explore the event. Often, this shows us new emotions and insights. Safely. Writing becomes a powerful tool for processing our experiences. It untangles the complexities of our thoughts, making sense of the intricacies.
Writing is a deeply introspective process that facilitates self-reflection and growth. When we put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, we create a space for honest self-expression. This is free from the constraints and judgments of others.
We can explore our innermost thoughts.
We confront our fears.
We give ourselves voice to the voiceless.
Through writing, we can gain clarity and perspective. By articulating on paper, we can identify patterns, recognize recurring themes, and uncover more. Writing becomes a mirror that reflects to us the depths of our own psyche, allowing us to see ourselves clearer.
Moreover, writing provides a safe outlet for processing difficult emotions and experiences. By pouring emotions onto the page, we can release pent-up feelings. Perhaps there is catharsis to be found there. Writing becomes healing.
Think of it as therapy lead by you.
By keeping a journal or documenting our experiences, we create a record of our personal journey. A revision of experiences with later perception is a fantastic way to learn through reflection.
See you next week for another reflection on the week’s learnings.
