Four Lessons Of Stress
Stress has a function, no matter how much we dislike it.
The term “stress” has become ubiquitous in our vocabulary.
The word is universal to the human experience.
When I first started working, stress was the greatest problem. I treated it as the unwanted visitor. I see stress as an enemy that needs to be destroyed, especially for others. Ironically, I created more stress for myself without actually understanding it.
But this simple term conceals a complex phenomenon that encompasses much more. This includes, but is not limited to, physical, psychological, social and cultural factors. Delving into etymology provides valuable insight into our developing understanding.
Yet, the relationship between stress and the human experience is far more nuanced.
I believe there is a special relationship between stress, challenge and growth. While stress can trigger negative effects on our well-being, the overall picture is complex.
Consider the boxer pushing his limits in training.
Or the entrepreneur faced with a terrible business decision.
In these scenarios, stress isn’t solely a destructive force. It is the crucible within which determination is built and potential is unlocked. This “positive stress” or eustress, fuels motivation, sharpens focus, and drives us to achieve amazing things.
No one finds success in an incubation of comfort.
However, our thinking often obscures this fact. It certainly did that for me. We often mistake challenges that we can handle as overload. Thus, we interpret the response to stress as negative rather than as stimuli. This sets us on a collision course with ourselves, fostering an unhealthy resistance.
The word “stress” traces its lineage back to the Latin. The verb “stringere”, means “to draw tight.” This origin reflects the physical tension often associated with stress.
In some ways, it is a poetic commentary on the primal experience echoing the fight-or-flight response ingrained in our biology. However, its application to mental and emotional strain is a more recent development. Not until the 20th century, under the influence of psychology, did “stress” firmly enter our lexicon.
Lately, “stress” has become ubiquitous. We speak of financial stress, relationship stress, and work stress. In fact, you could almost put any word in front of the word stress and generate relatability. This explosion in usage mirrors the demanding nature of modern life. We fear deadlines, information overload, and the pressure to achieve can overwhelm individuals.
Unveiling the intricate history of “stress” shows the evolving relationship between us and this word. While the term “stress” has strengthened and the sources multiplied, its fundamental impact on the body remains consistent.
The ancient fight-or-flight response still releases a surge of cortisol, adrenaline, and other stress hormones. This prepares us for immediate action, increasing heart rate, respiration, and blood sugar levels.
While beneficial in short bursts, chronic stress keeps this response activated. This leads to wear and tear on various systems. Muscles remain tense, blood pressure stays elevated, and the immune system weakens. Digestive issues, headaches, sleep disturbances, and even heart disease can manifest. This highlights the negative effects of prolonged stress.
So what have we learnt about stress? How can we build a healthy relationship with this complexity?
The key lies in cultivating a mindful and nuanced understanding of stress. Recognizing its multidimensionality allows us to classify it better.
We can learn to recognize stressors instead of seeing them as the enemy. Once we recognize the warning signs, we can interpret and apply more positive behaviours. By realigning perspectives, we can turn stress from a burden into a value.
Here are some nuances I have with stress. Most of these come from some years of experiences with burnout and stress.
It has helped me, and that is why I write them in today’s article.
Manageable stress is defined by perceived capability.
As discussed, the fight-or-flight response prepares us for immediate action. By reframing overwhelming situations into specific, achievable challenges, we can harness stress constructively. Instead of feeling paralyzed by stress, break down tasks into smaller steps (Paton and Dorst 2011). Focus on “what next” actions, and maintain your heading.
In other words, even a challenging situation might not feel overwhelming if we believe we have the resources and skills to cope with it.
This aligns with the Transactional Model of Stress developed by Lazarus and Folkman. This model emphasizes the appraisal process, where we assess the demands of a situation and our own resources to cope with them (Lazarus and Folkman 1984).
If we perceive the demands as exceeding our resources, we experience stress. Conversely, feeling capable makes the situation feel more manageable and less stressful.
While perceived capability is essential, it’s important to acknowledge that objective factors also play a role in stress. A situation might be genuinely overwhelming even if we feel confident in ourselves. Overestimating our capabilities can sometimes lead to underestimating the challenges.
Often, this will cause more stress later.
Feeling the weight of a decision doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It is you telling yourself that it matters.
The “weight” one feels reflects the significance of the decision, not necessarily its correctness. Acknowledge this as a sign that you care deeply and are invested in making the right choice. These decisions evoke more emotional responses and deliberation, which can lead to stress.
While emotional engagement can be helpful, it’s important to avoid paralyzing indecision. This can easily cripple us with more stress (Kairos 2022). Additionally, some decisions might feel charged because of external pressures or biases.
It is our responsibility to consider and decide.
The stress from overload is just as concerning and damaging from the stress of boredom.
This highlights that excessive stimulation (overload) and insufficient stimulation (boredom) contribute to stress. This contradicts the common perception of stress as purely stemming from pressure and overwork.
Research supports this. Studies show that boredom can lead to a range of negative psychological and physical consequences. These include anxiety, depression, fatigue, reduced motivation, and even increased risk of substance abuse.
While both overload and boredom are stressful, the specific type of stress they induce differs. Overload often leads to feeling overwhelmed and pressured. Boredom might manifest as restlessness, apathy, and lack of purpose. We often only see these signs and not really address the core issue.
The same stress that comes around again is usually from a lesson you have not completed yet.
This resonates with the idea of “repeating stresses.” When the same stressors trigger reactions, it’s a sign that you haven’t effectively learned and adapted from past experiences. By reframing stress as a chance to identify and address unresolved issues, it can help personal development.
This confronts the underlying psychological or circumstantial antecedents of stress, rather than solely adopting coping mechanisms for immediate stress relief. Implicitly, this suggests that unaddressed lessons embedded within stressors can lead to their reappearance. This type of stress hinders well-being.
While we may perceive stress as an unwelcome foe, our relationship with it is far more nuanced. Viewing stress solely through a negative lens can create an unhealthy battle within ourselves.
By reframing our perspective and sharing understanding, we can transform stress from a burden into a valuable tool.
After all, we are blessed with the architecture of our ancestors.
References
Bec Paton and K. Dorst. “Briefing and reframing: A situated practice.” Design Studies, 32 (2011): 573–587. https://doi.org/10.1016/J.DESTUD.2011.07.002.
Richard Lazarus and Susand Folkman. Stress Appraisal and Coping. 1984. New York: Springer Pub.
Kairos, Drew. “The Science of Analysis Paralysis: How Overthinking Kills Your Productivity and What You Can Do About It,” June 3, 2022. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/science-analysis-paralysis-how-overthinking-kills-your-drew-kairos.
