8 Toxically Misquoted Idioms
A lot of these infuriate me.
I find that the shortened version of these idioms allow people to function with a degree of toxicity. After all, most people tend take meaning where they want it, rather than where it is.
Now, I must state that through the discourse of human history, updates have been made to some of these. The updating is important as it paints a more complete picture of human nature.
The customer is always right
in matters of taste.
Many people often attribute the quote "the customer is always right" to Harry Gordon Selfridge, who lived in the early 1900s.
However, that is not the full quote.
As time passed, individuals have shortened the quote, likely because of its simplicity and memorability. Lately, the abbreviated version became a concerning mantra. For many businesses, it emphasized the importance of customer satisfaction over valid discussions. It also allowed customers to act like spoiled children. This truncated quote has led to misinterpretations and toxic understandings of customer service.
The shortened quote, “The customer is always right,” has encouraged entitled customer behavior and create unrealistic expectations. In fact, TikTok has a surplus of content of customers abusing this saying. Some customers use this phrase to demand unreasonable expectations or justify abusive behaviors. This misinterpretation can lead to a toxic work environment and decreased employee morale.
Harry Gordon Selford’s full quote, “The customer is always right in matters of taste,” sees the importance of respecting customer preferences while maintaining business standards. It suggests that businesses ought to strive to accommodate customers’ tastes and opinions. But not at the expense of their own values. And importantly, not at the expense of the employee’s well-being.
The complete quote emphasizes the importance of respecting customers' subjective preferences. But it does not give them carte blanche to dictate the business. It encourages businesses to find a balance between accommodating customer preferences and maintaining their own expertise.
Curiosity killed the cat,
but satisfaction brought it back.
The original quote, “Curiosity killed the cat,” is believed to have originated around the 16th century. However, the extended version, “Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back,” emerged later.
I want to say that happened around the early 20th century, though it is hard to say. The addition of the second part creates more weight for the idiom.
The original form of the proverb, now rarely used, was “Care killed the cat”. The earliest published reference to the original proverb appears in the 1598 play, “Every Man in His Humour.” This was written by the English playwright Ben Jonson. On 10 August 1905, The Galveston Daily News newspaper printed the following, “Curiosity killed a cat; but it came back.”
Then on the 26 March 1917, the Harrisburg Patriot newspaper added to the idiom, “Curiosity killed a cat, but satisfaction brought it back.”
The shortened version of the quote has become more popular. This was possible because of its brevity and the cautionary tale it conveys. The shortened version of the quote sends a cautionary tale about the dangers of curiosity and the need to avoid it.
This interpretation can be toxic. It discourages learning and growth. By focusing solely on the potential dangers of curiosity, we stifle creativity and innovation. It can lead to a fear-based approach to life. This is where individuals are hesitant to ask questions or venture outside their comfort zones.
In contrast, “Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back,” acknowledges the risks associated with curiosity while also highlighting the rewards. The second part shows that the satisfaction gained from curiosity is sometimes worth doing.
Birds of a feather flock together,
until the cat comes.
The full quote suggests while people may congregate based on shared characteristics or interests, these can be fragile and easily broken when threatened.
However, this is one of the idioms that has been updated with the progression of human nature. A version of the phrase appeared in 1545 in William Turner’s satire, The Rescuing of Papist Fox. It reads, “Byrdes of on kynde and color flok and flye allwayes together.”
So when did the second half come in?
Honestly, I am not sure. However, that does not change the importance of the full quote. It implies that when faced with a threat or challenge, people prioritize their own safety and survival over the needs of the group. It even hints at the extreme that some of us might sacrifice one of our own.
This quote raises questions about the strength and authenticity of connections based on similarities. It suggests that true loyalty and solidarity require more than just shared characteristics.
One can interpret the quote as a commentary on the sometimes feeble nature of human relationships. It highlights the potential for individuals to scatter when there is a threat.
The grass is always greener on the other side,
but it’s just as hard to mow.
The concept of the proverb can be traced as far back as the poetry of Publius Ovidius Naso, better known as Ovid (43 BC — 17 AD), who wrote
Fertilior seges est alenis semper in agris.
The harvest is always more fruitful in another man’s fields.
The colloquial version has become more popular. This is likely due to its simplicity and the relatable sentiment it expresses. The shortened form suggests that people believe that other people’s situations or possessions are better than their own. Often, this leads to feelings of envy and dissatisfaction.
This interpretation of the shortened quote is toxic. It encourages a constant comparison to other’s lives. This promotes the idea that happiness and fulfillment are found by attaining what others have. This mindset leads to a never-ending cycle of desire and discontent.
In contrast, the full quote, “The grass is always greener on the other side, but it’s just as hard to mow,” acknowledges a lot. It reflects how humans desire what others possess, yet acknowledge the challenges it may entail. It shows how we idealize others’ circumstances and shows the difficulty of living it.
While it may be tempting to believe that others have it easier, the truth is often not so clear. Everyone faces their own struggles and difficulties. This quote emphasizes that the appearance of greener grass does not necessarily mean that the other side is truly better.
The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The shortened version of the quote has remained popular. There is a simple message that explains the advantages of being proactive and taking advantage of opportunities. However, when taken to an extreme, this quote leads to an overemphasis on being first. This encourages hasty decisions or a disregard for careful planning.
On the other hand, the full quote acknowledges the advantages of being early, while also highlighting the benefits of learning from others’ experiences.
The second part of the quote refers to the idea of a mousetrap. Here the first mouse is caught while attempting to get the cheese. But the second mouse, having learned from the first mouse’s mistake, can safely get the cheese. This suggests that there is wisdom in observing and learning from the experiences of others, rather than always being first.
The complete quote serves as a reminder that success can be achieved in different ways and that there is no singular path to reaching your goals. By acting proactively, learning from others, and taking precautions when necessary, we can reduce pitfalls and increase chances of success.
Rome was not built in a day,
but they were laying bricks every hour.
The shortened version of the quote has become more widely used, likely because it is more concise and easier to remember. This is often used to encourage patience. It also reminds people that significant achievements require time and perseverance. However, when taken to an extreme, this interpretation promotes complacency and a lack of urgency. It suggests that slow progress is always acceptable.
In contrast, the full quote, “Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they were laying bricks every hour,” acknowledges that while great things take time, consistent effort and regular progress are essential. It shows that while the final goal may not be achieved quickly, it is important to keep a steady pace of effort.
The entire quote encourages a more balanced approach to pursuing goals. While it recognizes that long-term success requires work, a sense of urgency is not always best. This shows that over time, small steps can add up to significant improvements.
Great minds think alike,
though fools seldom differ.
The earliest example of this phrase in print may have appeared in Carl Theodor von Unlanski’s 1816 biography, “The Woful History of the Unfortunate Eudoxia.”
The shortened version of the quote has become more popular. The idea that having similarities to someone else, especially someone intelligent or creative, is a good thing. However, when taken too literally, this quote discourages independent thinking and promotes conformity.
In contrast, the full quote, “Great minds think alike, though fools seldom differ,” acknowledges the potential benefits of consensus among intelligent people while also highlighting dangers.
While agreement among intelligent people is great, agreement among unintelligent people also happens. Just because many people agree on something doesn’t necessarily mean it is correct or wise. The complete quote recognizes it is also important to engage in different thinking.
However, it is important to note that the quote’s characterization of those who disagree as “fools” can be problematic. It is essential to recognize that disagreement does not necessarily indicate a lack of intelligence. Rejecting different views leads to a failure to consider potentially valuable insights, even if they are wildly wrong.
The proof of the pudding
is in the eating.
This proverb dates back at least to the 14th century as “Jt is ywrite that euery thing Hymself sheweth in the tastyng”, and William Camden stated it in 1605 in Remaines of a Greater Worke, Concerning Britaine as “All the proofe of a pudding, is in the eating”, per Rogers’ Dictionary of Cliche and the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations.
This quote is often misinterpreted and misused. It suggests that the evidence for something is inherent in the thing itself, rather than in the act of experiencing it. This misinterpretation leads to a reliance on superficial or incomplete information when making judgments or decisions.
In contrast, the full quote, “the proof of the pudding is in the eating,” emphasizes the importance of direct experience and thorough evaluation when assessing anything. It means that true understanding and valid decisions can only be achieved through manual integration testing, rather than relying solely on manifestations or assumptions.
The complete quote encourages a more empirical approach to decision-making and problem-solving. It acknowledges that, although theories and assumptions can serve as useful starting points, they need to undergo testing against reality. It suggests that through active and thoughtful engagement, we can develop a more accurate understanding of their true nature.
The exploration of these eight toxically misquoted idioms shows the impact of oversimplification. This has problems with interpretations and application of timeless wisdom.
These idioms have been distilled into bite-sized phrases. While convenient, often fail to capture the nuances and complexities of human experience. Sometimes, they allow a strange sense of justification for toxicity.
Throughout history, language has evolved, and so too have the meanings and interpretations of these idioms. However, the danger lies in the oversimplification of these insights, which often short change wisdom.
From the cautionary tales of customer entitlement to the balance between curiosity and caution, these idioms offer invaluable lessons when considered in their entirety.
We ought to use them correctly.
